The Trainee

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee...

On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:

"Excuse me? You've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No", replied the trainee.

"This is the Managing Director of the company!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put the phone down...


technorati tags: humor, funny, silly, joke

Snowball Fight With Buds

Tinkered around with JibJab and came up with this video featuring my college friends. Just in time for the holidays too...

technorati tags: entertainment, christmas, joke, funny,silly

Fastfood Love Story

A little old couple walked slowly into a fast food joint one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them.

You could tell what the admirers were thinking: "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink. The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.

Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. "They are so used to sharing everything."

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink. A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal. The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.

As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again. After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?"

She answered, "THE TEETH"....


technorati tags: humor, funny, joke

No Speakah De English

A bus stops and two men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country. we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex
lives.

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man."Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'."
technorati tags: humor, funny, joke

Pasta!

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided to him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid a large sum of money if she would secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a postcard and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "You received a very strange post card". The wife watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

technorati tags: humor, funny, joke