You Know You're Pinoy When...
Today is an official public holiday in our country as we are celebrating our 108th Philippine Independence Day. We recall the sacrifices and triumphs of the brave souls whose dream of liberty was finally realized on June 12, 1898 when Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo declared our nation's independence from Spain, giving birth to the first republic in Asia.
I love my country and am proud of my heritage. I love the many intricacies that make me truly Filipino. To expound on my friend Chrixean's entry, here's a more complete and unedited list of what makes us Pinoy (local term for anything that distinguishes a Filipino) as emailed to me by a pal.
You point with your lips
You eat with your hand and have it down as a technique
Your other piece of luggage is a "Balikbayan Box"
You nod your head upwards to greet someone
You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbows on your knees while you eat
You use a rock to scrub yourself in the shower
You kiss relatives on the cheek when you enter the room
You're standing next to eight big boxes at the airport
You collect items from hotels or restaurants as "souvenirs"
Your house has a distinctive aroma
You smile for no reason
You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly
You go to department stores and try to bargain with the price
You scratch your head when you don't know the answer
You never eat the last morsel of food on the table
You go bowling
You play pusoy or mahjong
You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun
You add an unwarranted 'H' to your name: Jhun, Bhoy, Rhon
You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "Excuse, Excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
Your middle name is your mom's maiden name
You like everything that is imported or 'stateside'
You're perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on your knees
You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for events
You always offer food to your visitors
You put your arm on the other person's shoulder if he or she is a close friend of yours
You draw a rectangle in the air when asking for the bill, which never fails to baffle the restaurant staff
You don't sit on the bowl in public toilets, no matter what part of town or if your thighs ache like hell; and you flush the toilet with your feet
You think 'tuck out' is the opposite of 'tuck in'
You tell everyone you meet where you studied and the intricacies of your family tree just to show them you come from good stock - it never occurs to you that people may not have heard of your university or your clan's last name
You show up late for work and your excuse is 'I forgot to on the alarm' or better yet 'traffic eh'
You linger over the Tonite and Balita tabloids available at the Star Ferry, but quickly buy the Asian Wall Street Journal when other Filipinos start browsing
Brushing your teeth after lunch in the office lavatory is an unbreakable habit, even if your colleagues can't bear touching the taps after you've drooled and spat all over them
Namedropping is your favorite sport when you meet up with new acquaintances from back home
Toni Braxton, Basia and Swing Out Sister are your idea of party music, you hardly listen to anything else
You sell Amway and Herbalife as a sideline
You fight noisily with Cathay Pacific check-in staff over the size of handcarried luggage-which could be anything from oversized suitcases to major appliances
You underdeclare your income when you pay Philippine tax, even if it's peculiar that a consultant is paid little more than a domestic helper's wages
At Immigration, when they call out 'Maria', you and 46 other women stand up
When they play 'Anak' anywhere, your chest swells with pride and say 'that's Filipino'
You think taking a shower and taking a bath are the same thing
You use shopping bags as garbage bags
You use laundry detergent to wash your dishes
You use print rags from an imported fashion magazine as cover of your textbooks and notebooks
You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year
You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off
When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out
You eat all meals in the kitchen
You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers
You always leave your shoes at the door
You play a musical instrument
You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth)
You twirl your pen around your fingers
You hate to waste food.... (a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them (b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing
You never order room service
You fight over who pays the dinner bill
Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself
You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law
When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool
You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and hey they prefer it that way) or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood
Your parents' house is always cold
You reuse teabags
You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs money
You only make long distance calls after 11 pm
You have acquired a taste for bittermelon (ampalaya)
You always cook too much
If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight
You e-mail your friends at work, even though you are only 10 feet apart
Your parents send money to their relatives in the Philippines
You never discuss your love life with your parents
Your parents are never happy with your grades
You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again
You keep used batteries
Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin
Your relatives either work in medicine or real estate
You enjoy watching Pinoy action films with the same plot: Hero and villain are mortal enemies. Hero's family's killed by villain. Hero seeks revenge. Hero meets bar girl with sad tale of past love. She comes from a poor family, that's why she's working in the bar. They fall in love. Villain kidnaps girl, threatens to kill her if hero won't stop harassing him and his henchmen. Hero rescues girl, they run away. Chase goes on in a dilapidated car. Hero finally kills villain and police arrive. Hero and girl live happily ever after.
Most Filipino women / young women own a LOT of shoes - they will also never wear more than half of them again
You get punished by kneeling on rice
Cokes are reserved for visitors to your house
Your mother / grandmother's most precious item is her sewing machine
You buy 25 lb. bags of rice and gallon jugs of soy sauce
You try to explain to people why Philippines starts with "Ph" and Filipino starts with "F"
Your grandparents leave the TV on even when nobody watches it
You have the exact same artificial christmas tree with the same ornaments, year after year
You know a relative in the VFW or VFW ladies auxiliary
Your parents try to get you to go on a date with a child of one their friends
At family parties everyone is fighting to chop the skin off a dead pig
You don't know the meaning of travelling light - you've mastered the art of packing a suitcase to double capacity.
Your mom makes paper foot outlines when buying shoes for you.
You can fit 15 passengers into a 5-seater car without a second thought
Your relatives watch TFC to look at/comment on the "white" Filipinos and see how clear their skin is, not for the program content
You make your children sing and dance to amuse your friends and relatives
You can sing and dance at a drop of a hat
You're proud that your last name is Spanish, and in some cases, you seriously claim you have Spanish blood, when you probably don't
You have oversized picnics in the park with all your friends and relatives
You talk or take photos with your camera-phone whilst someone is performing at a concert
You say 'for take out' instead of 'to go'
You 'open' and 'close' the lights
You ask for 'Colgate' instead of toothpaste
You ask for 'pentel pen' instead of a ballpen or pen
You refer to refrigerator as 'ref', 'Frigidare', or "pridyider"
You say 'kodakan' instead of take a picture
You order 'McDonalds' instead of hamburger, which you pronounce 'ham-boor-jer'
You say 'Ha?' instead of 'what?'
You say 'Hoy!' to get someone's attention
You answer when someone yells 'Hoy!'
You turn around when you hear 'Pssst'
You say 'Cutex' instead of nail polish
You say 'for a while' instead of 'Please hold' on the telephone
You say 'he' when you mean 'she' and vice versa
Your sneeze sounds like 'Ahh-ching' instead of 'Ahh-choo'
You say 'Aray' instead of 'ouch'
You say "bitch" when you meant "beach"
You make acronyms for phrases: 'OA' = overacting, 'DOM' = dirty old man, and 'TNT' for... you know
You say 'aircon' instead of 'A/C' or airconditioner
You pronounce the ff. words: 'Hippopo-TA-mus', 'com-FOR-table', 'Bro-CO-li', and 'Montgo-marry Ward'
You say 'brown-out' instead of 'black-out'
You say 'Ay' or "Uy" instead of 'oops'
You start with 'Actually' when you're trying to explain something
You say 'comfort room' instead of bathroom
You pronounce 'fax' as the four letter word
You pronounce "F" for "P" or "P" for "F"
'Ano' and 'di ba' regularly slip out during conversations
You say, 'my girlfriend will fetch,' when foreigners think fetching is for dogs
You try hard to speak English and when you don't know what to say next, you say 'you know...' You change your accent according to the person you're talking to
When someone's pregnant, you say 'she's on the way'
You say 'ayyss---!' in kolehiyala accent to show any kind of extreme emotion - 'ayyy, shheeettt, nag-split na sila? ayysss, shheeettt talaga?'
When somebody gives you a compliment, instead of saying thank you, you say 'hindi naman'
You use 'walis tambo' and 'walis ting-ting' as opposed to a conventional broom
You own a karaoke machine or a "magic microphone" and use it to no end
You own a piano that no one ever plays
You have a portrait of the Last Supper hanging on your dining room wall
You have a 'tabo' in your bathroom
You have a rose garden
Your house is cluttered with 'burloloys'
You display a big laughing Buddha for good luck
You have a Santo Nino shrine in your living room
You own a 'barrel man' (schwing!) from Baguio
You have 'parols' displayed during the holidays
You cover your living room furniture with bed sheets
Your lampshades still have plastic covers on them, same goes for the remote-control
You have plastic runners to cover your carpets
You refer to VCR as 'Betamax' even if it's a VHS
You own a rice dispenser
You own a turbo broiler
You own a lamp with oil that drips down to the strings
You have a giant wooden spoon and fork hanging in your dining room
You own Capiz shell chandeliers, lamps or placemats
You have a pair of wooden tinikling dancers on your wall
You have 'Weapons of Moroland' shield hanging on your living room wall
Your wall to wall carpeting includes the ceiling
You own one of those fiber-optic flower lamps
Your stove is covered with aluminum foil
Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it
You use the dishwasher as a dish rack
You have never used your dishwasher
Your microwave, washer, TV, VCR, computer, printer, toaster and doorknobs are hidden under quilted covers
You have the entire Apo Hiking Society collection, plus maybe some Tito Mina and Pops Fernandez thrown in
There's a pail in your bathroom, just in case there's a water shortage or the toilet won't flush
You have a fly swatter in your kitchen
You have multiplex tapes
You buy song hit mixes like "New Wave Disco Hits"
You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel
The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save every time you get take out or go to McDonald's
Ditto for paper napkins
CLOTHING AND APPEARANCE
There's Angelique eyeliner and Johnson's Baby Powder compacts lurking in your makeup drawer
You use Perla soap on your face
You have several pairs of 'tsinelas' at your doorstep
You deliberately flaunt your pager and cellphone
You find dried-up morsels or rice stuck to your shirt
You check labels on clothes to see where it's made
You hang your clothes out to dry
You've had the same bobbed hairstyle since high school
You wear fake or original Tommy Hilfiger shirts in bold and shouting prints
Your next goal is to buy a Polo or Burberry bag
Your ponytail ribbon covers half your head
You wore kung fu shoes in high school
You use an umbrella for shade on hot summer days
You play basketball in you chinellas (slippers)
You wear your trucker hat with the peak at a wierd angle
AUTOMOBILES & DRIVING
Your car chirps like a bird or plays a tune in reverse
You have a rosary on your car rear view mirror
Your car horn can make three or more different sounds
You have those air fresheners in a bottle
You own a Mercedes Benz and call it a 'Chedeng'
Your car has curb feelers on it
You have a fake banana display attached to your car window
You own a huge van conversion
You do not try to avoid pedestrians
A traffic cop says "your license expired eight years ago"
A road sign that says "Dangerous curve, Death toll 19" causes you to make another accident
For you a yellow light means " go faster"
A traffic cop is known to you as a "crocodile"
You refer to a female driver as a "lesbian"
You insist on fitting 8 people into a taxi, much to the distress of the driver, and say, 'we're making 'kandong'
FAMILY & FRIENDS
You were raised believing every Filipino was an aunt and uncle
Your dad or uncle was in the Navy
Your mom or sister is a Nurse
You get smelling kisses from your grandma
Your parents call each other mommy and daddy
You know someone with a name that repeats itself, i.e. Jon-Jon, Len-Len, Jong-Jong, or Bing-Bing
You have aunt & uncle named Baby, Girlie or Boy
You know a veteran dynamite fisherman called "Lefty"
You have a dog named Whitie, Blackie or Bantay
Your parents call each other 'Mahal' and they call you 'Anak' or by your wonderful Filipino nickname you've had all your life (Jang, Cici, Meng, Choy-Choy, etc) ....and you KNOW they're mad at each other or at you when they use actual names
You think eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a great morning meal
You order breakfast items like tapsilog, longsilog, or tocilog at restaurants
You always grab a toothpick after each meal
You order a 'soft drink' instead of soda
You dip bread in your morning coffee
You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached - it means they're fresh
You refer to seasonings and all forms of MSG as 'Ajinomoto'
Your cupboard is full of corned beef hash, spam and vienna sausage
You appreciate a fresh pot of hot rice
You bring your 'baon' to work everyday
Your 'baon' is usually something over rice
Goldilocks means more to you than a fairy tale character (bakery)
You wash and re-use plastic utensils and styrofoam cups
You eat purple Yam flavored ice cream (ube)
You know that 'chocolate meat' isn't really made with chocolates
You think half-hatched duck eggs (balut) are a delicacy
You eat fried chicken with tomato sauce/ketchup
You like sweet spaghetti
You have an ice shaver for making 'halo-halo'
Your cloth tablecloths have telltale 'tuyo' circles on them
You have to have a bottle of Jufran handy
You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice
Neighbors complain about the smell of 'tuyo' on Sunday mornings
You fry Spam and hotdogs and eat them with rice
You eat rice for breakfast
You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the freezer
Your buy ketchup made from bananas and named after alien spaceships
You've eaten hotdogs made from worse things than lips and ass
You put hotdogs in your spaghetti
You consider dilis the Filipino equivalent to french fries
You eat mangoes with rice--with great GUSTO
You know the meaning of double dead egg. double dead chicken
The pasalubong you want from Manila is cornik, which you snack on eight times a day in the office
Your idea of a diet is a diet coke with a McDonald's meal
You serve coffee in small glass coffee containers
You drink beer with ice
Did I mention that we have a healthy sense of humor? We don't get mad easily. We tend to laugh things off. Even problems are dealt with the same way. It's one trait I love that some analysts say is one reason why we are still a third world country. Instead of coming up with a solution to a problem, we make a joke out of it.
Meantime, let me leave you with this video showcasing the many wonderful places in the Philippines which you guys should visit if you have the chance. Enjoy!