'Tis A Puzzlement

While listening to my favorite radio station on the way to work last Friday, the DJ (as is his routine) asked his listeners to complete the sentence for the day. The sentence to be completed for the day was "I don't understand why...". His phone began ringing off the hook immediately and the responses were good, I mean REALLY good. Asked my friends to come up with their lists so we could discuss it over lunch the next day. When we met up yesterday, we came up with this very interesting list after much laughter and debate:

I don't understand why...

• the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
• "cute as a button" is supposed to be a compliment? (Since when are buttons cute?)
• do we wash behind our ears? (Who really looks there?)
• don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
• we say "It's colder than hell outside" when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
• are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
• is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
• isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
• is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
• is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
• do dogs sniff other dog's bottoms to say hello, why don't they just bark in their face or something?
• is a square meal served on round plates?
• aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
• is it that it's good to score under par in golf but its bad to be "under par" in any thing else?
• do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
• is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
• is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
• do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"?
• is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
• do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?
• is it when we duck they call us chicken?
• is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
• are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
• do they call it "morning sickness" even in the middle of the afternoon?
• is there not a Channel 1 on TV?
• do we feel blue? Follow-up question: what color does a Smurf feel when they are down?
• do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
• is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?
• do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running forward?
• is it called a TV set when there is only one?
• do they call it an escalator even if it takes you down?
• is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• do we call goosebumps goosebumps? Do geese get people bumps?
• is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
• do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living?
• is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it?
• does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
• is the blackboard green?
• is it that when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow"? When cows freak out, are they said to be "having a person"?
• is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
• do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
• do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
• is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
• why do you have to buy her friends if Barbie is so popular?
• do bars advertise live bands? What does a dead band sound like?
• is it called "after dark", when it is really after light?
• is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
• is it that when a person tells you there are over a million stars in the universe, you believe them; but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Think about it. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, everyone!